iogMolas, Carlo Jose S.
AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL TERM PAPER IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
As far as I can remember in my childhood days, I was raise in a family with a normal life and both parents have work. I remember it when I use to go with my father to send my older brother to school. I would cry when I was left alone and when I woke up late. I use to bring my older brothers lunch box which I personally like and remembered. When at school, my parents will pick me up after dismissal. Usually, at that time as far as I can remember my dismissal was around 3pm. My mom or dad would pick me up and go home and play computer games until 9pm. Fridays would be the best time because I can do anything I want especially in playing computer games. I was never an outgoing person. I never experience playing outdoor games like tumbang preso, tago-tagoan, luksong baka and any outdoor games. I think in my opinion my parents love me so much since I’m the youngest. Now, I regard myself as an outgoing affectionate person because I want people to be happy and I don’t like people being sad for a reason that is too shallow. In choosing the girl of my life, I want it to be simple and practical because practically speaking; now is the time not to be stupid in the reality of not preparing for future. Also, I want straight forward person because it can easily solve problems that doesn’t need to be argued at the apex points of life. Responsibility of having a child is a matter of life and death. I believe that life is a gift from God therefore the couple will try their best to give the child the most easily and comfortable life he/she should have. According to my experience, I thank my parents for giving me a simple and stable life. I really cannot express how will I say it but with this autobiography, thank you po. J
As expected when I was a kid, my parents tell me that watching porn is bad. But in my experience as I grow older, sex and stuffs is an everyday normal life activity and there is nothing to be proud or shy about it. It’s very natural for couple especially for a married couple to do such activity in order to bear child or at least to do it for pleasure. In the essence of marriage, I think sex must be after the ceremonial stage of the wedding. I acquire my sex education on the society itself. I believe that every individual learns sex on its own. No one can teach sex but only for our self. I believe that sex is only use for procreation and sometimes pleasure.
In my experience, sometimes parents fight over money and personal stuffs like cheating on each other and the likes. I think it is normal for a situation like that because that will be the test of real relationship if you are for each other forever. I also believe that parents should be a role model to their children because as family the foundation of society, the values of being a good parent must be incorporated to the child because the child will bring it to his mind and will be using it to his reasoning that what he/she saw to his parents are always right. Actually for all of these years, I think the most significant event happened is when during the bonding moments of the WHOLE FAMILY. I think that is the best time to recreate and to put out bad sentiments towards the whole family clan. Personally, maybe our family is the not so blessed on behalf of something but at least I’m thankful that we are complete and thank God for the good blessing and strong relationship he has given to me. The relationship between me and my parents started to grow up when I started college. They are more open now than before. We can do any stuff we like not like when I was in high school or grade school. The feeling of belongingness is now evident as I grow up and I had a better understand within my parents and me. I just realized now that I’m blessed to have a simply family even though we don’t have any significant events happening in the family. I thank God for this simple life that we practice most of the time.
My parents settle their quarrels at being silent at first then eventually after a week or month, it will back to the normal situation of the family. In my experience, when mom throws bottles at the gate and my dad was like outside of the house, the neighbors are already in furious and they are already panicking but for me I think they should settle their problems on their own, I don’t have the power to overrule them because as they said, “I am just a SON”. I also believe that you must face your problems and decide alone. You can advise from others but the final verdict will always be from your heart, to yourself. In working out conflicts, it is usually democratic and authoritative. We as family have an obligation to go to church on Sundays. We are free in terms of activity we want to pursue especially if it is our free time but sometimes especially with gatherings with family, I am required to be on their authoritative rule. If the conflict is now between me and my marriage, I would pursue what I want and in the end, I want to be happy with the one I truly love. Sometimes, it is not always for others but also you must think for yourself even once. Your partner will be your only one if you grow up. Your children will have another family and as a responsible and proud parent, we should be proud and played our duty well.
My relationship to my brother is like a friend but we are not that close to each other. Authority rules because he is 4 years older than me. He is now applying for a job in Canada and leaving the house to me has a big responsibility. Since then, my brother is the overall boss in the house. He cleans the house, do stuffs for dad, do stuffs for mom and many household chores. Since his 4 year wait has been granted, he had to leave for a job in order to live his own way and to earn cash in order for him to do whatever he wants. In our family, I’m the bossy one because maybe because I’m still studying and my parents are doing their work in the company. I always get what I want and I need from them than to my brother. Maybe because I’m the youngest and I sometimes hear stories that youngest son/daughter is said to be the most spoiled one.
There were no ceremonial observances in the family both mother and father side. What I can share is that our family have get-together during Christmas Season and New Years Eve. On Christmas Season, we usually bring pack lock food and share it with 3 more families composing of 4 to 5 members each. Our celebration here is always and usually grand and luxurious meaning there are lechon, crispy pata, pizza, pasta, ham, quezo de bola and all the food that is usually present in Christmas Day. I think these traditions will be passed on to our cousins’ family. According to my personal experience, we are close to each other especially during the gathering itself. We love to talk about stuffs especially school and personal stuffs, relating to each other and especially giving out humor and gift giving to everyone.
As I consider myself today, I prefer it essentially positive. I consider it positive because I know to myself that I’m doing the right thing to myself and to others. I’m an honest person, I help others as much as I can, I’m approachable and many more. I believe that people should be trusted even though their intentions to you will be bad. As an experience, trusting people is giving them the opportunity to know them better and understand their scenario as human being. We are not perfect; we help each other in order to suppress all hardships of life. My personal opinion is that we should know to trust carefully people we meet because it gives them the opportunity to speak up, to express them freely without making them oppressive in their part. Also, believe in the ability of others that they can do it because it gives them confidence to be relaxed and ease to do their role. I consider myself as a conformist because every people have different forte in life. We may know an intelligent person, an athletic one or simple an ordinary friend. Each people have different skills and weakness. We must consider them as we help each other in order to improve our quality of skills and lessen the errors we commit. Sometimes, misunderstandings and miscommunication happens. When things not go right, I become frustrated at first then suddenly a change of plans and contingency must be prepared in order to prevent interruption of for example activity. You become angry because maybe things didn’t turn out your way, you have been cheated or fooled, and you have been scolded for no reason at all. Stuffs usually happen because maybe it is God’s plan of giving it as a test of faith or test of endurance to us to be able to be strong someday or maybe just to learn a lesson from it. To describe myself, I prefer it to be humanistic. As I put it in my terms, being human means to be religious and practical at the same time. Religious because you believe that there is one God, one creator and one savior, also religious means doing the teachings of the church in the real society where the word of God must be shared to the people and put it into practice. Being practical to me means you do the simple things with the benefit of everyone. For example, buying a cheaper commodity over the other with the same quality therefore, being practical wise.
My ideal mate should be beautiful in the sense that she must know the right attitude, right understanding and the goal of helping others especially to me and our children someday. I want her to be simple but with positive attitude. She may not be beautiful outside but I want her to be full of principles and honesty must be her main components. I like people who are true to me because it gives them the courage what will she want from me. I’m attracted to people who will accept for who I am and who she is. Loving others cannot be achieve if don’t love yourself first.
Self – understanding means to know things that are not needed to ask for the right answer. I believe that we must acquire this skill in order to last relationships. Sometimes misunderstanding will come in a relationship where the couples are lost to the purpose of their marriage. Many break-ups and divorce had already happened due to lack of self – understanding. I believe that 5 important traits I must possess are honesty, humbleness, simplicity, wealth and service to others. Honesty plays an important role in the corporate world, business world even at the world, humbleness is needed in order to overcome greediness and the comparison to be avoided, simplicity in order to make things simple and not to complicate things, wealth because we want to give some to others if we have extra, and service to others means meeting social and corporate responsibility. What I fear are shame, lost of trust and lose of confidence. Shame because if you think what you do is right but then when people judge you, you lose the fight and end up shame leading to distrust of people and confidence to yourself.
Personally, I cannot describe myself as what I am now, I want people who judge me for who I am to them and I am to myself. In my opinion, I am a jolly person, I love music, I respect my parents and friends, I help people the most I can, I say bad words all the time, I watch ex rated movies and many more. Someday, maybe I will be a researcher and use my skills to further understand and share the knowledge to people in order for them to be aware and guided as well. Right now, I am being spoon feed by my parents, maybe in the next 5 to 10 years I want myself to grow by living independently, to help my parents in the daily needs in the house, to be successful I guess and help others the utmost I can. I can do it for sure because I know to myself that if you love what you are doing, you will guarantee that you will do it. Having a marriage partner is different but with better understands to one another and guidance from God, maybe we can work things out. As I said a while ago, everything is hard. Nothing is easy in this world.
If I’m dying right now and my best friend is there, I would simply thank him/her and tell him/her that I’m sorry for being a loser because the best lessons in life are with your friends and experiences. I will also tell to him/her that life must go on. He/she should work for his/her own happiness with others. God had planned for it for the betterment of humankind.